The registration due date was getting closer, I had to be away for more than a week and I hadn't promoted my event to ensure I would get the participants I wanted to have. In other words, I hadn't completely recovered my peace on mind around this event. Slowly but surely I've been re-investing time for myself, my house, my projects and my family...although parenthood is putting a lot of pressure! Thus I finally felt strong enough to let go and let God, I discovered a very deep enjoyment about controlling my surroundings that I thought it had already vanished. Now, with aspects of my life becoming more and more complex, all these supposedly tackled issues, are resurfacing to be dealt with again at a deeper level.
After being away, doing other things, talking to different people about different projects, all of them interesting and promising, I started to think again about how I can be part of all I want to be part of, without having the anguish of not having enough time nor money, without facing frustrations and without finishing the day exhausted, drained and in a terrible mood. Memories of previous spiritual practices that brought so much peace into my life, and the appearance of Centering Prayer, seem to have started to put my life back on God's track.
I decided to allow people to donate what I consider is needed to cover the costs of delivering the event. I feel in peace with the idea of trusting that everything that needs to happen, will happen. Instead of learning how to control things and putting myself in such a state of stress, I decided to learn from the way life works. I was also a bit sad with the idea of excluding potential attendants due to a established cost of participation. Being this event about finding different ways to our economic issues, preventing people from participating because they don't have money, didn't seem quite right. I do have many ideas that I believe, official money would help to put in place a lot quicker, but I also realized that it is not in my hands to convince people and/or force them to believe that what I want to do, is the right thing to do. I know I'll finish my days with plenty of memories to be happy and grateful about. I feel called to just offer the space for people to start important conversations about passions I have, so those who share those passions with me, will show up and will get from those experiences, what they are called to learn or do.
Whether people want to donate nothing, less, the exact amount or more, is entirely up to their own process of valuing their experience. And what I'll do with that money is entirely coherent with my interpretation of the principles that guide my life: compassion and love for the planet, and global citizenship.
I hope to meet many people on our weekend.
Tatiana Maya
